‘All I wanted when I was going through the worst – and I was lucky enough to get have it – was someone to listen to me. That’s half the problem; people don’t listen. Even when you want to tell people about the dark thoughts in your head, you have to wait behind Farmville and X Factor.’
‘It was a bad time,’ Kenneth encouraged.
‘Women are good at listening. They’re more open and in touch with their emotions and they listen better. Half the world’s problems would be solved overnight if women were in charge, but they’re not. They’ve got the same problem as me; fighting against prejudice and inequality. It’s getting better for them but it’s happening slowly, and I can’t wait for the day there are far more women as country leaders than men.’
‘Thatcher wasn’t so compassionate.’
‘That’s the problem for them. To compete they have to act like a man, but I wish they wouldn’t. Women need to act like women when they are leaders, not like men. It would fix so many things. Men make war and cause death, women make tea and offer sympathy. Society and technology have changed, but humans have not. Deep-down, men are hunter-gatherers, boys that never grow up, and they fight over anything; women build nests and keep everyone and everything together; and the young want to shag everything. Women dominate the music industry now and good for them; look how good their music is. Women are the grown-ups of this world.’
‘Sounds like you’re pitching for the women’s vote.’
‘I am looking to get the people’s vote and women are people.’
Kenneth nodded sagely. He couldn’t tell if Theo was doing well in this interview or not.
‘Back to the suicide thing. How did you feel when you came out of it?’
‘I felt good, better than ever. The thoughts are still there sometimes, but I just shake them away. It makes you feel stronger, like you’re not afraid of anything anymore; you can take on more challenges and not worry about it. Everything, all the good things, are enhanced. It’s those kind of near-death experiences that make you realise you’re not here forever. It changes things inside your head, and it makes you appreciate the smaller things in life; the natural, free things. Your children’s laughter, a smile from a stranger, and the peacefulness and smell of cooking bread on early mornings.
‘You know, life is U-shaped. It starts high, goes down, hits the bottom and comes back up. A U looks like a smiling face and that’s what you have to aim for when you’re finished. I was at the bottom of the U and am coming back up. If I didn’t finish it, the U would look like a hook, or a shepherd’s crook; you’re off before your time is up. I don’t want that. I don’t like feeling I haven’t completed something. I’ve got to make it to the end and make the smiling face. I feel like I have to complete the U.’
Theo drew a U shape in the air with his forefinger to emphasise his point, which ended up with his forefinger pointing at the camera.
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